Historic

Church Chuckles

Page 8

Mama Mea

One Saturday, I was listening to a baseball game between the San Francisco Giants and Florida Marlins. While giving the Marlin line-up, Giants’ announcer Lon Simmons arrived at the fourth batter. “And now,” he said, “the shortstop — Ron Culpa!"
Simmons paused, then noted: "His mother, Mea, is in the stands."

 

Children’s Letters to God

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.
Ginny

Dear God,

We read that Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it. Did he steal your idea?

Dear God.  How did you know you were God?”

“Dear God.  Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?”

“Dear God.  How come you did al the miracles in the old days and you don’t do any now?”

 

Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane

Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.
Love, Alison

Dear GOD,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
-Lucy

Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
-Anita

Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones You have now?
-Jane

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
-Jane

Dear GOD,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my brother.
-Darla

Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway.
Your friend -- (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday?
I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L.

Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
-Bruce

Dear GOD,
If we come back as something - please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.
-Denise

Dear GOD,
If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want, except my money or my chess set.
-Raphael

Dear GOD,
My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
-Danny

Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
-Larry

Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
-Sam

Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
-Dean

Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Ruth M.

Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
-Elliott

Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
-Nan

Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
-Rob

Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they?
-Marsha

Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
-Mickey D.

Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
Love, Chris

Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
-Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD:
The bad people laughed at Noah - "You made an ark on dry land you fool." But he was smart, he stuck with You. That's what I would do.
-Eddie

Dear GOD,
I do not think anybody could be a better GOD. Well, I just want You to know but I am not just saying that because You are GOD already.
-Charles

Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!
-Eugene


Dear GOD,
Are you happy and healthy with all the people up there with you?