Church Chuckles

Page 7

It’s not up to me!

A weary elevator operator at a department store had patiently answered shoppers’ questions all day. Just before closing, a voice from the rear of the crowded car piped up, “Suppose the elevator cables broke, would we go up or down?”

The operator’s patience finally gave way.

“That,” he answered, “depends entirely on the kind of life you’ve been living.”


(Don't) Show Me the Money

A journalist watching Mother Teresa care for a dying charge once remarked, "I wouldn't do that for a million dollars." Mother Teresa replied, "Neither would I."


Consensus .. or Nonsensus?

Definition of a committee: A group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decides that nothing can be done.


Persistence pays

Every year I review the Christmas story with my young students. “You know Jesus was born in a stable,” I said. “What would you like to say to Jesus, Mary, and Joseph?” I looked around the room, expecting a pious response.

“Hang in there!” one boy excitedly cried out. “Things can only get better!”


Would That You Could

Definition of a crisis: A situation in which you can’t say, “Let’s forget the whole thing.”