Church Chuckles

Page 5


Little Johnny was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and then turn to the crowd, put his hands up like claws, and roar.
That’s the way it went all down the aisle: step, step, roar! Step, step, roar! Step, step, roar!

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing by the time he reached the pulpit.

When the priest asked what he was doing, Little Johnny sniffed and said, “I was being the ring bear.”


The Collection Plate

A little boy was in church for the first time. He watched as the ushers passed around the collection plate. When they got to his pew, he told his father, “Don’t pay for me, Daddy. I’m
under 5.”


The Lord Is My Shepherd

A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Ricky was excited about the task, but he just couldn’t remember the psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was very nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”



We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our pastor had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally!"


Bumper stickers for smart-alecks

Where there’s a will ... I want to be in it.

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.